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It was a simple walk that led to a profound insight of how often I allowed "invisible others" to shape my choices.
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Does your to-do list tire you out? Rule your life? Does your to-do list provide terror or tranquility?
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It’s a frigid Friday night in late January in Indiana. Dark, with a biting wind. I head into my local pharmacy carrying both a heaviness—after 11 days of the flu—and a hopefulness that the prescription I’m about to pick up will finally end this scourge. As I reach the back of the store, I sigh. The line is long. I take my place, preparing for a wait. And then, something completely unexpected happens. And that chance event has completely shifted my perspecive going forward.
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In this musing, I reveal a deeper truth about how we view others: The surface rarely tells the whole story. When we do shift our perspective and wonder what it is truly like to “walk in their shoes”, we begin to realize: • Most people are doing the best they can — at work and at home. • We all make assumptions and rarely test them. • And we’re all prone to a common mental trap: the actor-observer bias.
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This question—“What do you most need right now?”—turns my thinking upside down and inside out. Upside down because it asks me to act now, not later. Inside out because it puts the focus on me, not others. That’s why I’ve been keeping this question front and center lately—not to ask others, but to ask myself.
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It was a disheartening swirl of national and international events, layered with the emotional weight of walking alongside two loved ones through difficult personal struggles. Maybe it wasn’t just about last week. Maybe it was the culmination of many weeks, even years, of striving to maintain a hopeful outlook in the face of growing division, hatred, and uncertainty. But something broke open in me. I felt despair in a new and deeper way. I was tired. I was angry. I cried more than I laughed. Hope felt elusive. And then, in the midst of that darkness, two memories surfaced—bright and vivid. Both examples of how one small thing made a big difference!
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